darkladynyara

"First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can't agree with your methods of direct action;" who paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by the myth of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a "more convenient season."

Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection." - Martin Luther King, Jr. 16 April, 1963

It's as true in 2010 as it was in 1963, and it's as true for all marginalized groups as it was (and still is) for blacks.

As a lesbian, the right-winger screaming that I deserve to go to hell is offensive, yes. But so is Barack Obama, the self-proclaimed "fierce advocate" (gag me with a spoon) who is against marriage equality, defended DOMA, defended DADT, and essentially tells us to "wait" to be treated as full citizens.

And it's not just Obama on LGBTQI issues. The left in general and the Democratic party in particular have a very nasty tendency to expect the support of marginalized groups without reservation, while throwing those same groups under the bus at every turn. This is exacerbated by the idea that being "liberal" is enough. The idea that as long as you say the right words, and profess the right attitudes, you are beyond criticism no matter what you do.

So we have liberal northerners who act like American society has moved beyond racism and Obama voters who still don't want Blacks or Latinos in their schools or neighborhoods. We have feminists who don't give a flying fuck about the issues facing women of colour, trans women, disabled women, poor women, sex workers, and a whole host of other women... but scream in outrage when a member of one of those groups stops calling herself a Feminist. We have fauxgressive men who brag about how enlightened they are in one breath and call a rape victim a liar and/or "slut" in the next. And, of course, numerous diarists and commenters on DailyKos talking about the stupid, ignorant, disloyal gays who cost the Democrats the midterms and who don't deserve equality anymore on the basis of a statistically insignificant exit poll showing that 31% voted republican. (Incidentally, that's what inspired this rant in the first place.)

All of these people with their "reasonable" words, and their condescending attitudes. Nice, liberal people who just can't understand why we marginalized folks are so upset- why, they have friends like us. Invited to their house, even. And they support us having almost full civil rights. They can't possibly be prejudiced. They aren't wearing white hoods, or beating up gay kids, or saying women can't vote, after all. Why aren't we grateful? I hear this over and over and over. And I'm getting fucking sick of all of it.

I'm sick of people expecting a fucking cookie for meeting the minimum standards of human decency. I'm sick of my rights being used as a bargaining chip. I'm sick of being told that supporting people like me isn't "politically viable" right now. I'm sick of being told that my issues aren't important by people who expect me to work my ass off for theirs. I'm sick of being told that I should be grateful that my so-called allies are nice enough to give me scraps of recognition. I'm getting sick, in other words, of the "shallow understanding" and "lukewarm acceptance" that's supposed to be a stand in for fierce advocacy.

Another pertinent quote-

"I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights." -Archbishop Desmond Tutu